Actually Asten

Let’s get one thing straight: being autistic isn’t something I “suffer from.” I’m not broken, damaged, or a burden. I’m autistic — and I’m proud of it. Not just the easy, quirky, “fun fact!” bits, but all of it. Even the messy stuff.

But let’s not sugar-coat it either. Autism can be hard.

• It’s buffering in Boots when someone asks if I need help and I genuinely can’t find my words.
• It’s noise, lights, smells — everything — being Too Much in Primark (see: Daisy’s Corner).
• It’s the sheer exhaustion after a social event, even one I enjoyed.
• It’s crying because I couldn’t remember how to start a conversation I wanted to have.
• It’s masking so hard for so long that I forget who I am underneath it.

And still. I’m proud.

Because autism is also beautiful.

• It’s the way I feel music — deeply, spiritually, fully. (Looking at you, Video Killed the Radio Star.)
• It’s my loyalty, my passion, the way I dive headfirst into the things I love and create whole worlds out of them.
• It’s how I connect with people — not always in the “typical” way, but often in a much more honest one.
• It’s the sense of humour I’ve developed by basically living a life of daily awkward moments.
• It’s my ability to notice things others miss — the tiny details, the unspoken signals, the patterns.

It’s the chaos gremlin in my brain that I’ve named Daisy, who keeps things interesting.

I was diagnosed at 4, told at 9, and honestly spent years thinking something was wrong with me. I’m still unpacking some of that. But now? I’ve learned that I was never broken. I was just trying to survive in a world that wasn’t designed for people like me.

And look at me now. I’m thriving. I’m engaged to my real-life superhero. I’m writing, blogging, laughing, dancing around to retro bangers in my room like it’s 2003. I’m living as me.

So yeah, it’s hard sometimes. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t choose it.
Because my autism is not just part of me.
It is me.

And I like her. Actually, I love her.

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💥 Daisy’s Corner

“Wait wait wait. You forgot the bit where we cried in Tesco over chicken nuggets because the freezer lights were flickering like a haunted disco. Classic autistic moment. 10/10. Would stim again.”