Actually Asten

Today was one of those days where life just… interrupted itself. I went to hospital for tests, had scans, waited around, worried, overthought, and rode that familiar wave of what if something’s really wrong. The kind of day that leaves your body tired and your brain loud, even when you’re eventually sent home with reassurance.…

Gallstones found. Wedding booked. Same week. Same me. 🤣 One minute I’m being told my body has decided to grow tiny internal rocks like it’s starting a collection. Next minute I’m signing paperwork like yes actually, I would like to marry the love of my life. 💍 If you ever wondered what my life feels…

I keep typing that sentence and then just… staring at it. Because today we signed the contract.Like, properly signed it. Pens. Paper. Names.The real kind of signed. And now my wedding is confirmed. I thought this moment would feel loud. Screamy. Crying-on-the-floor energy.But instead it feels… calm. Soft. Slightly unreal. Like my brain is still…

This isn’t a hot take.It’s not a moral panic.It’s just something I’ve been sitting with. We’re told that 18 is the magic number.Adult. Ready. Informed. Capable. But if you ask me — and you are, because you’re reading this —18 is still very young.Especially when it comes to adult content. At 18, most people are…

There’s something strange about reading your old writing — like time-traveling back into the head of someone you used to be. Recently, I re-read parts of my book Rainbow Balloons for the first time in years, and… wow. Cringe levels: off the charts 😭 But underneath that secondhand embarrassment, there was something tender. Because Rainbow…

Every now and then, I catch myself wondering what my life might have looked like if things had been different. Not out of regret — more out of curiosity. That soft, far-off kind that drifts in when you’re making tea or staring out of the window. The kind that asks “what if?” but doesn’t expect…

8 October 2025 · by Asten I’ve started working on Pop Song again — the story that grew out of Rainbow Balloons and that little part of me that used to want to be a decorator. It’s funny how old dreams resurface in new shapes, isn’t it? At its heart, Pop Song is about fear…

Nothing about having kids appeals to me — and that’s okay. Nothing about having kids appeals to me. And that’s not sad, or empty, or a missing piece — it’s simply the truth of who I am and the life I want. I don’t want the sleepless nights, the school runs, the constant responsibility. I…

Sometimes life shifts so quietly you don’t notice at first. Then, one day, you pause, look around, and realise just how far you’ve come. That’s exactly where I am right now. If you’d told me a couple of years ago that I’d be here — engaged to the love of my life, doing work I’m…