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Being an Expert by Experience
When I first heard the phrase “expert by experience”, I wasn’t sure if it really applied to me. I didn’t have a degree in autism studies, I didn’t have letters after my name. What I had was my story — messy, complicated, sometimes hard to talk about, but mine. And that’s the point. Being an…
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The Activities That Shaped My Teens
When I think back to my teenage years, it’s not just school and homework I remember. It’s the places where I found belonging, laughter, and friends who understood me. For me, that was through the activities I did with other disabled teens. These spaces weren’t just about filling time — they were about connection. They…
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Making Peace With My Past
For a long time, my past seemed like something to run from. But now, I feel like I’ve made peace with it. At sixteen, I got involved in the world of the “looners” — balloon fetishists. After being afraid of balloons for so long, they became a fascination to me, and before I knew it,…
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Actually Asten: Rainbow Balloons 🎈🌈
Setting the record straight with a side of chaos. When I was 22, I wrote a book called Rainbow Balloons. It followed Anna, an autistic 18-year-old with a fascination for balloons who (without realising it) ended up modelling for a fetish site. One reviewer — an actual looner — gave it 1 star because it…
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“You Need a Licence for a Dog, But Not a Child?”
A reflective rant about how backwards the world is. 17 August 2025 It hit me the other day how backwards the world is. If you want to get married, you have to fill out paperwork, prove your identity, and jump through legal hoops. If you want to adopt an animal, you’ll probably have a home…
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Sweatshirt Season is My Super Bowl
by Asten Clarke(feat. chaos from Daisy Carter) There’s something magical about this time of year. The air gets crisper, the PSLs return to Starbucks, and I start preparing for my annual transformation into a walking Disney store. That’s right — it’s nearly sweatshirt season. Some people count down to Christmas. I count down to the…
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When a Special Interest Fades… and It Scares You
This feels weird to say, but I don’t think I want to see Basil Brush this year. Even typing that feels wrong. Like I’m betraying someone—or maybe betraying a version of myself. For as long as I can remember, Basil has been my thing. My comfort. My joy. My weird little niche in the world…
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💬 He’s a Nerd… But He’s My Nerd
A Love Story in Doritos, Superheroes & SarcasmBy Asten Clarke Let’s get one thing straight:I didn’t grow up dreaming of some tall, dark, mysterious bad boy. No. I wanted the one who’d share snacks with me. Quote movies at me. Laugh at the same dumb jokes for the 300th time. The one who gets what…
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Almost 33, No Kids — and Totally at Peace
I’m nearly 33. I’m engaged. I’m building a life I love. And I’m childfree by choice. Not “we’ll see” childfree. Not “maybe one day” childfree. Just… childfree. And while I’m at peace with it, the world around me often isn’t. What People Still Say: I’ve heard it all. And sometimes, when the questions come from…
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Things I Know About Love (That I Didn’t at 18)
When I was 18, I thought love was dramatic. Kisses in the rain, intense arguments that ended with someone running through an airport — like the rom-coms told me. I thought love had to be constant butterflies. That it should be all-consuming. That if it didn’t hurt a little, it wasn’t real. But now, 15…
Actually Asten 