Actually Asten

Today wasn’t a day I expected to write about.

Sometimes we build a picture of the future so clearly that it feels almost real. We can see the milestones, the celebrations, the things we’re working towards. We imagine where we’ll be in a year, three years, five years.

And then life throws something at us that makes us question everything.

I’m not writing this because I have the answers. In fact, today I’m probably further away from having answers than I’ve been in a long time.

What I do know is this:

It’s okay to be sad when something important changes.

It’s okay to grieve the future you thought you were heading towards.

It’s okay not to know what comes next.

One of the hardest things about uncertainty is that our brains immediately want to fill in the blanks. We jump ahead. We imagine the worst. We convince ourselves that because one chapter has changed, the whole story is ruined.

But that’s not true.

A changed story is not the same thing as an ended story.

Tonight, I’m trying not to solve the rest of my life. I’m trying not to make decisions about who I’ll be in five years. I’m trying not to write the ending when I’m only halfway through the chapter.

Instead, I’m listening to music, being kind to myself, and remembering that I’ve survived difficult days before.

Maybe that’s enough for now.

If you’re reading this while going through your own uncertain chapter, this is your reminder that you don’t have to have all the answers today.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is simply keep turning the page.