Actually Asten

A little while ago, I found myself unexpectedly single.

For a while, I wondered what came next. Was I supposed to rush into dating? Download every dating app? Worry that I’d somehow “fallen behind” everyone else?

The answer, for me at least, has been no.

Instead, I’ve realised that being single has given me something I didn’t know I needed: space.

Space to think.

Space to create.

Space to remember who I am outside of a relationship.

Right now, I’m focusing on things that genuinely make me happy.

I’m writing books. In fact, I’m rewriting, editing, plotting future stories, and spending far too much time laughing at conversations between my own fictional characters.

I’m growing my author platform and connecting with readers who enjoy the same kind of cosy, neurodivergent romantic comedies that I love writing.

I’m making nostalgic content because talking about 90s and 00s pop culture is ridiculously fun.

I’m seeing friends, spending time with family, drinking plenty of tea, and reminding myself that happiness doesn’t have to arrive with another person.

One thing I’ve noticed is that my life feels… quieter. Not boring—just calmer. I’m no longer waiting for my phone to ring or wondering whether plans will change at the last minute. There’s a sense of peace in knowing my day belongs to me.

That doesn’t mean I’ll never fall in love again.

I’m not ruling anything out forever.

But I’m also not treating being single as a waiting room for my “real life” to begin.

This is my real life.

There are books to write.

Adventures to have.

Birthdays to plan.

Concerts to go to.

New friends to make.

Dreams to chase.

Being single isn’t the absence of a life. It’s simply one chapter of it—and for me, it’s turning out to be a pretty exciting one.

So that’s where my focus is right now: creating a life that already feels full.

If love finds me one day, that’s wonderful.

But until then, you’ll probably find me with a cup of tea in one hand, my laptop in the other, and my fictional characters causing absolute chaos.

Honestly… that’s a pretty good place to be.